Not Quite What I Expected

You know those moments when time just stops? Everyone around you freezes and there you are looking around trying to figure out what just happened? That's what happened when we got news about sweet Max.

We were happy as can be. Proud of our beautiful baby boy. Trever was proudly (and protectively) watching over Max in the nursery while he was on oxygen, which the nurses said was because labor and delivery was so darn fast. I was "resting" in my room (because we all know how much rest you really get at the hospital) and texting Trever for more pictures.

Then in walked Trever ... and two nurses. My heart sank. Something is wrong with my baby.

I don't remember much of what they said. I think I only heard two words: Down syndrome.

Wait, what? There's no way. We did the pregnancy screening. It was basically zero - 0.25% chance. That's practically impossible. Yet here were two nurses telling me it wasn't impossible ... in fact, it was very likely.

My response was pretty eloquent ... one of my finest moments ... I simply said, "oh, shucks."

What do you say when you get that kind of news? I was speechless. I was shocked. I wanted to cry, but not in front of the nurses. They asked if we wanted to do genetic testing. Of course we do. Why would we not want to do it?

So they drew blood samples and told us we'd have results in two weeks. Then they left ... and kept my baby in the nursery.

It took a while to find my voice. My mind was racing. How can we do this? What does this mean? How do we tell our family? What about our little girls? Is Max okay? Why can't we hold him? What's going on?

There were tears. Lots of them.

And then finally they brought me my sweet Max. Oh, he was beautiful. My heart overflowed with love for this sweet baby.

Still today, almost two months later, I'm not sure how I can raise a sweet child with Down syndrome, but I'm so in love with this little guy. He's perfect. He's healthy. He's beautiful. He has the most kissable little cheeks ever. He's mine. And I absolutely adore him and his extra chromosome.